Letting Our Kids Cheer Us On
Recently, Chelsea Sodaro (2022 Ironman World Championship winner) posted on social media:
“Sport isn’t about winning. Sport is about meeting adversity head on. Sport is about exploring the limits of your own body and mind. Sport is about getting the best out of yourself and inspiring others to do the same. Sport is about respecting yourself and your competitors. Sport is about integrity: looking yourself in the mirror after a competition and being able to say “I did the best I could and I did it the right way.”
For this amazing athlete and mom, it is also about winning. This is, after all, her job. And watching her sail down Ali’i Drive and power across the finish line in Hawaii did inspire me to “tri” again.
She was speaking out after it came to light that a fellow competitor had been using performance enhancing drugs. But, she posted this the day after our Olympic race--my first in 12 years, Stephen’s first post COVID, and Ian’s first ever (my second oldest child) and her words seemed just for us.
There were many moments while we were training when I questioned why I was doing it. It required exploring the limits of my older body and mind. It required pushing myself physically, mentally, and emotionally. It required doing things I didn’t feel like doing when I was exhausted from work and the daily rigors of parenting. On race day, it required facing the fear of swimming in open water (it took me about 30 minutes to just catch my breath and find my rhythm), overcoming the discouragement of not swimming as well as I had hoped (I wasn’t last, but I was the slowest woman—I had ‘cello lessons as a kid, not swim lessons), deciding not to give in to discouragement and keep tri-ing (I cycled and ran better than I had hoped). I was also happy with how I looked in my skin tight clearance Pearl Izumi tri outfit. Priorities people! At the end of the day, I was able to say that I did my best and did it the right way. I wasn’t sure how I would feel about continuing to train for another race, but I am happy to report that while I am glad for a little break, I would like to get back at it, maybe take some swim lessons, and “tri” again. My goals were to finish and look cute doing it. Check and check.
As for Stephen and Ian, they had been bantering back and forth for weeks about who would finish first. On race day, Ian said that the friendly competition helped him push harder than he would have otherwise and the whole thing from conception through training and race day was a great bonding experience for Stephen and me as well as for mother, son, and bonus dad. Stephen was an awesome coach, giving seasoned advice to us newbies, encouraging us through tough moments, and doling out equipment from his personal supplies (Tri-ing is an expensive hobby, which is why there aren’t many twenty-something’s at the starting line. I bought Ian an outfit, also from the clearance section. Everything else he used was borrowed from Stephen). Throughout training, we liked each other‘s workouts on Strava, met up at the coast for a 30 mile bike ride, exchanged tips, discussed progress and training plans, and kept each other excited via our “We are tri-ing” group text.
On race day, Ian rocked the swim, coming in ten minutes ahead of Stephen. Stephen made up the time on the bike and passed Ian, besting him by ten minutes. It was neck and neck to start the run, but Ian ran strong and took the lead. Once Stephen realized that Ian had it in the bag, he waited for me to catch up on the run (my first lap, his second lap) and we ran together for a couple minutes at just the right spot for a cute couples photo op with the photographer.
It was a gorgeous Spring Southern California day. The weather was perfect and all but one of our Brady Bunch plus two of their spouses (one married just days before—yes it was a marathon week!) came out to support us. And this was my other big takeaway for the day: We should give our kids opportunities to cheer us on. I was excited for them all to be there, but I was not prepared for how emotional it would be to have them so enthusiastically cheering for us at every possible turn. It is a great course for supporters with the lake swim, a three loop bike course, and the out and back x2 run. And they nailed it. All seven of them were running here and there, keeping track of where we would be next. They took like a thousand pictures and screamed, “Go Mom!!! Woot Woot! You got this!” like I was Chelsea, in contention for the win. They yelled and hollered for Ian and Stephen, anticipating who would come out of the water first, updating Stephen on how many minutes Ian was in the lead and good naturedly bantering as Stephen pulled ahead on the bike. I didn’t realize it until later when I scrolled through the pictures, but my two girls ran behind me all the way from the water to the transition area. And the kids were all lined up for high fives as I approached the finish line.
As parents, we spend countless hours driving our kids to practices and lessons, helping them with homework, entertaining them. There’s the cleaning, the food prep, the sleepless nights, the thousand little (and big) worries, the consoling of failures and the praising them for everything from graduating from diapers to graduating from college. In fact, it was my oldest’s 23rd birthday and the remainder of race day was all about making sure her golden birthday was special. It’s our job to be there in the special moments with cards and flowers and kisses, documenting every moment with photos and video. I adore my children and I love every moment of sacrifice and hard work on their behalf. I love it even when I hate it. They are my greatest dream come true. So I don’t mind that my life mostly revolves around them. But how often do we give them an opportunity to be our cheerleaders, to let us know that they are proud of us, to be behind the camera instead of in front? And my life revolving around them is changing. They are getting older and more independent and it is good for me to get back to taking better care of myself. For a time, I was determined not to remarry until they were all grown, but it was good that I opened my heart to love and found my beautiful second chance with Stephen. It is good for me to have something to shift my focus to as they, one by one, spread their wings and fly the nest. And it is good for them to have an opportunity to cheer for me, however humble my accomplishment may be. Every time I passed by our cheering section, my heart swelled with emotion to see their faces and hear their voices shouting the name I answer to even when it’s not my kid yelling it: “Mom!!”
I used to do a little theater and I remember once before the show the director said, “Most of our time in theater is spent practicing. Our actual time on stage in front of an audience is very brief. So enjoy every moment.”
And I did.