Simplest Ever Guide to Meditation

Everyday Esoteric

It wasn’t that long ago that the word “meditation” evoked esoteric images of cross legged mysticism, a fringe activity for the free spirit who had embarked on the road less traveled in search of enlightenment. While that may still be true for some, mediation has entered the mainstream. Corporations and hospitals are paying for meditation courses for their employees and scientific studies support the many physiological and psychological benefits.

If you have been meaning to try meditation, you may feel overwhelmed about where to start. Do you take an expensive online or in person class? Do you need to read a book on meditation? Will it take you thousands of hours of practice in order to experience the benefits?

While I do not claim to be an expert, I have taken courses and read books on meditation and I’m here to tell you—you can certainly do all those things. And yes, the more you practice, the more you’ll feel the benefits. But you don’t have to make it overly complicated with classes and books and you can start to feel the benefits right away. With a few simple tips, you can get started today. Overwhelming yourself with information about meditation is counterproductive. Sometimes the key to change is keeping things simple. Let’s begin.

Sit Comfortably

Sitting in the lotus pose is not only unnecessary, it can take away from your meditation if it makes you feel strained. It is better to sit in a comfortable chair with your back fairly upright but relaxed. Don’t lean your head against the chair though. At the end of the meditation, you can lean your head back for a few minutes to relax. But if you lean your head on anything or lay down during the bulk of your session, you will be more prone to fall asleep. While that’s not the end of the world, it also isn’t the immediate or ultimate goal. If you are outdoors, you can sit cross legged, but you don’t have to put your legs in that yoga position you’re envisioning. If there is a tree or something to lean against, just put your legs comfortably out in front.

I have meditated in my car, on the airplane, at the beach, in a chair, and sitting upright in bed. The “where” is less important as long as you can find a comfortable position so that physical strain doesn’t distract from your meditation.

Close your eyes

Ask yourself—other than blinking or going to sleep, how often do you close your eyes? Unless you already meditate, it’s probably not very often. There is something about turning off visual stimulation while still being awake that immediately changes your perception. We are all visually over stimulated. Simply closing your eyes can provide instant relief to your nervous system. At first, you may notice feeling a little panicky or antsy. You may have racing thoughts. It’s okay, this is a new experience. If you give it some time, you will begin to feel a sense of relief when you allow yourself to shut down your visual stimuli. If your thoughts are distracting or disruptive, try to focus your attention and vision at a point between your eyes. But don’t obsess about keeping your attention there—it can come and go.

Use a mantra

Many meditation teachers recommend using a mantra. Sanskrit mantras have a rich history and perhaps the most well known of these mantras is “Om”. It is said to be effective because it creates a vibration that calms the mind. Om is often used in meditations or yoga classes. But a mantra can be most any word. It could even be a short phrase. You just want to keep it simple. The purpose of the mantra is to help quiet your mind, so you don’t want something that you have to think hard about. You can use the same mantra every session, or use something different.

When you’re sitting comfortably and have your eyes closed, repeat the mantra quietly out loud or silently in your mind. Or you could start by repeating it out loud and then transition to saying it in your mind. You want to say it slowly, drawing it out somewhat. There can be pauses between the repetitions, and if you are saying it silently in your mind, you will likely get distracted from the mantra. Do not distress.

When you notice that you have stopped saying the mantra, you will either be having a pause in your thoughts or you will be having a rush of thoughts. If you experience a pause in your thoughts, you don’t have to continue the mantra immediately. If you’ve noticed that you have stopped saying the mantra because your thoughts have gone rogue, gently bring yourself back to repeating the mantra.

Quiet the mind

Having moments where your thinking is paused is very calming and is one goal of meditation. Some teachers call this “getting in the gap.” At first, this may feel impossible. But do not feel frustrated. Try to approach it as a curious observer. Take satisfaction in even brief moments of pause in your busy stream of thoughts. As you continue to meditate, you will notice a natural increase in the gap between thoughts and this is when the magic starts to happen, meaning you will finish your meditation session with an increased sense of mental calm and physical relaxation and you will notice these effects rippling out into your daily life.

Another thing you can do if your thoughts won’t slow down is bring yourself into the present. Focus on different sensations, perhaps things you can hear or the feeling of your body against the chair. Notice your breath. Some meditations have you focus very specifically on your breath. Sometimes spending a minute or two focusing on your breath helps to calm the mind. But like repeating the mantra, you don’t have to obsess over following your breath. I like a method called “alternate nostril breathing” to start my meditation. After 1-2 minutes, I breathe naturally for the remainder of my time.

Notice areas of tension in your body and perhaps make adjustments in your posture to relieve some tension. If you are having an overwhelming feeling, pay attention to it. Ask yourself some questions. What am I feeling? When did this feeling start? What is the cause of this feeling? Is there something I need to do in this moment to address the feeling? If so, get up and do it. If not, try to observe it objectively. Get out of your own head and look at the feeling without being taken over by it. You may notice that sitting quietly and observing the feeling helps it to soften and pass. Or you may find that if you can let go of the feeling during your meditation, you have new ideas about how to address it afterwards.

At the end of your allotted time, take 3-5 minutes to come out of meditation before you get up and rush headlong into your day. Move your hands and feet, look around the room or out the window or at the scenery if you are outdoors. Take a few cleansing breaths, stretch. This time to come out of meditation can be a simple couple minutes or, if you’re tired and you have time, this would be the moment to lay your head back and doze off for a few minutes.

Wash, Rinse, Repeat

Meditation is a skill and a skill requires practice. I have heard some recommendations to try and meditate 20 minutes, twice per day. I have found the second session to be impractical at this stage of my life. So I try to meditate for 10-20 minutes in the morning.

Most meditation teachers recommend meditating first thing in the morning, before you get up and begin your day. The main reason is that chances are, if you don’t do it first thing, you won’t do it. I have also heard most meditation teachers recommend not doing meditation right before bed because meditation is a form of rest and it can leave your mind feeling more alert afterwards, making it harder to fall asleep.

Patience, my Young Padawan

Refrain from berating yourself during meditation for any reason. If you are taking a few minutes out of your busy day to sit in quiet, you can’t really go wrong. Meditation is definitely a journey, not a destination. If you are striving for a certain experience, you might spend your time feeling frustrated, which defeats the whole point. If you find yourself feeling stressed during your meditation, ask yourself if you are putting pressure on yourself to experience a certain result. If so, let it go. Bring yourself back to the now. Repeat the mantra, notice your breath, release some tension. Trust the process because the process, not some elusive end point, is the point!

Meditative Moments

Modern living does not cater to stillness. If you don’t intentionally make time for stillness, you will default to chaos, rushing from one thing to the next, ruminating on the past, worrying about the future, living in perpetual anxiety along the way. Most people are bombarded by stimulation (social media, email, entertainment, online shopping) from the moment they wake up until the moment they go to sleep. All this stimulation keeps your nervous system in fight or flight, which can increase your cortisol, increase your blood pressure, and cause a cascade of stress that can affect your physical and mental health.

Spending 10-20 minutes, one to two times per day in meditation can help move your nervous system out of fight or flight into rest and digest. When you meditate, your brain waves shift. Studies on meditation show improvements in blood pressure, heart rate, and stress levels. Advocates of meditation claim that with regular practice, these improvements start to extend beyond your session, into your daily life so that you can experience a sense of calm and clarity throughout your day. I would say that it has helped me become more intuitive and have a calmer flow in my daily life, including my decision making, my eating, my work, and my interactions with other humans.

Am I perfect about my practice? No. In fact, there was a time after my divorce when I was working full time, feeding the masses, taxiing children all over creation. As Bilbo Baggins said, I felt “like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.” I didn’t feel like I had a spare second to meditate and one day I expressed my frustration to my therapist. She said, “try to carve out meditative moments.” She went on to explain that meditation doesn’t always have to be a 20 minute sit down.

Sometimes it is just setting down your phone on your lunch break and taking a moment to watch the clouds. Or it could be stopping for a moment before you exit the bathroom to take three calming breaths. You can do an active meditation—walking or slow jogging in quiet or listening to calming music, taking time to notice the leaves, the sky, the song of a bird.

This practice is called “being present” or “mindfulness” and it has also been a popular method for calming modern anxiety. Practicing being present is, I would say, a form of meditation and I have found it very effective for calming chaos. Ruminating on the past or worrying about the future is futile. When you find yourself doing that, bringing yourself back into the present moment by noticing what is real right now can switch your brain out of anxiety and into realizing that you’re worrying about paper tigers. Paper tigers are things you can’t control right now and often are things that don’t end up being problems at all. They are the made up worries of a frantic mind. Ask yourself, what is wrong right now? If something is wrong, can you do anything about it? If you can, do it. If you can’t, bring yourself into the present moment as concretely as possible by noticing your breathing, taking note of your surroundings, making a quick gratitude list—noting what is not wrong. Oftentimes, the now is peaceful but we are missing it because we are living in the past or future.

Another meditative moment strategy is consciously slowing down whatever you’re doing by just a fraction, so that you take the edge off feeling frantic. You may have heard the saying “slow is smooth, smooth is fast.” When we live in a constant state of feeling rushed, our brain works less efficiently and we are more prone to feel stress and make errors. If you slow down just a little, your brain will function better. Not only will you feel less stressed, you will be more efficient and you’ll be less likely to make mistakes. If you begin a practice of meditation, you may notice yourself naturally doing this during the day. But you can also create intentionally meditative moments by slowing down your actions ever so slightly to bring a sense of calm into your day.

However you choose to meditate, don’t stress about whether you’re doing it right or not. That defeats the whole point! If you are taking a little time out of your day to sit in stillness or intentionally creating mindful moments, you are doing something positive for your nervous system. One drop of meditation in the ocean of your day can have ripple effects in your life that can create positive change. Your mind and body (and maybe your children, partner, and co-workers) will thank you.

Common Questions

What if I fall asleep during meditation?
This will be more likely when you first begin your practice. I reiterate, don’t stress. If you are sitting up, you will be less likely to fall asleep. But if you suddenly realize that you’ve nodded off, try to take a few more minutes to finish your meditation awake. Ideally, finish your 10-20 minute meditation and if you feel very tired, lay down and take a nap afterwards. Another modern malady is chronic sleep deprivation. Meditation teachers will tell you that 20 minutes of meditation will rejuvenate your mind and body better than a 20 minute nap, but hey—if you have time for both, go for it.
Should I set a timer?
It is better to have a clock nearby and open your eyes now and then to see where you’re at in the time that you’ve allotted for your meditation session. Finishing your session with an obnoxious sound like an alarm can end your meditation with a stressful zing to your nervous system, which is what we are trying to avoid. There are meditation apps that have a visual timer and calendars to track your consistency. But a simple clock will do.
Should I listen to music or do a guided meditation?
These are options. Try them out and see what you like. You might want to mix it up and use a variety— guided meditation, meditation music, and sitting in silence. Everyone is different and there’s really not a right answer. Find what seems to work best for you. If you have issues with attention span, then a guided meditation might work better. If your life is very chaotic, you might find that you desperately need simple quiet. There are lots of resources online and many of them are free. Try different things until you find what resonates for you.
Is it necessary to have a spiritual or religious practice in order to meditate?
Meditation is a practice for quieting the mind. If you have a spiritual or religious practice, meditation might compliment what you are already doing. If you don’t have a spiritual or religious practice, meditation is a great way to incorporate an intentional habit that evokes a sense of peace in your life.

Recommended Resources

I have taken classes, listened to online lectures, used guided meditation apps, and read books. All of this has morphed into my own little practice. Here are some of the resources I have tried with positive takeaways from each—

Transcendental Meditation went through a very popular phase. Ellen DeGeneres and Oprah Winfrey were paying for their staff to take the course. When I attended the course, the instructor said that a local hospital system had paid for all their employees to attend the TM classes. It is a very comprehensive course and by the end, you will be well equipped to meditate. You also get access to their app, which includes a nice meditation timer, sans noxious alarm at the end. It is, however, fairly expensive. Also, fair warning, they assign you a personal mantra in a little ceremony that I found to be oddly reminiscent of a religious ceremony.

Deepak Chopra is a big advocate for meditation. I have often heard him say that if you are a person who says you don’t have time to meditate, you need it the most. He has a meditation app called Presence that I really like and he has some guided meditations on YouTube. Unfortunately, not all the meditations on the app are free, but he usually has some free selections and I haven’t minded repeating these. He starts the meditation with some philosophical ideas to ponder, and then the meditation continues with some peaceful music and a calm tone to indicate the nearing of the end of the session.

Wayne Dyer has a book called Getting in the Gap. It is a good description of what meditation is and why it is beneficial. He has some good suggestions for structuring an effective meditation session.

Eckhart Tolle’s books and talks are some of my favorites. I love The Power of Now for practicing presence.

I also like the meditation resources on Mindvalley University. These are not free, but usually you can find free introductory talks on YouTube from the Mindvalley teachers that are beneficial for getting started. I like Emily Fletcher, one of the instructors. She has lots of free content on YouTube and her own course called Ziva Meditation. If you can afford it and want more in depth instruction, any of the meditation classes on Mindvalley University are great.

There are gobs of meditation apps. There are free guided meditation sessions on YouTube. There are also hours of free meditation music on YouTube and most music apps. You can dive in as deep as you want or keep it as simple as you want. It’s totally up to you. However you decide to start your meditation journey, the keys are to start and to remember it is a journey.

And remember—If there is one thing the last several years have taught me, it’s that life is about second chances. Every day, every moment, every interaction, every breath is an opportunity to begin again.

💕Melanie

References

Bermudez, Lisa. Why Do We “Om” in Yoga Class? Yoga Renew. June 2024.

Ginexi, Elizabeth, Quinlan, Erin Burke, and Shurtleff, David. Meditation and Mindfulness: Effectiveness and Safety. National Center for Complimentary and Integrative Health. June 2022.

Morris, George. Slow is Smooth, Smooth is Fast. Medium. May 2023.

Yugay, Irina. Your Go-to guide to mantra meditation (+30 mantra examples). Pulse-Mindvalley Inc. February 2024.